For some reason when I watched the following video I started uncontrollably laughing (the muahaha kind). I was just imagining the ways in which this is terrible idea.
First off, WHO brings their freakin’ iPhone to an underwater club? Second, the Dart Gun (that really seems like a spear fishing gun) seems a tad dangerous to give to drunk people in futuristic scuba suits. THIRD, there’s a button just to release bubbles.
FOURTH, FIFTH AND SIXTH: Vomit, Urine and Farts (oooooh maybe that’s what the bubble button is for – hiding flatulence).
Seventh – it just seems altogether awkward…
ANYWAY, I clap my hands to you TechnoMarine (a watch company) – genius advertisement. Even though my brain automatically thought about all the ways in which an underwater nightclub would be terrible, I still want to go there…
I’ve discussed my Scrabble addiction before, but I’ll say it again… I believe that scrabble is the most perfect game ever created. In fact, the creator of Scrabble, Alfred Mosher Butts, studied the front page of The New York Times for an entire year to calculate how frequently each letter of the alphabet was used. Words with Friends cannot even compare…
So, today when I went to play my daily game of Scrabble through the facebook application, I was surprised to find this:
What is that madness? It looks like they hired the web designers of Myspace circa 2003 and Zynga’s Farmville to make this terrible eyesore. Continue reading →
I’m just gonna let this story speak for itself… -HAHA
Police in Ankeny, just outside Des Moines, received a call from a confused and concerned citizen that they had spotted a zebra and a macaw in a parked car outside of a bar. When the officers arrived on the scene, the car was being driven away by its owner, 55-year-old Jerald Reiter.
A Zebra and Macaw walk into a bar
When pulled over, Reiter described that the zebra and macaw were his pets, and that they frequently enjoyed outings. Reiter didn’t plan on leaving his pets inside the truck, but that previously, the owners allowed him to bring the zebra and the bird into the bar. Plans changed, however when the owner would not let the animals in because they were serving food that evening.
He was arrested for drunk driving with a blood alcohol level of 0.148, almost twice the legal limit.
Okay! So i totally should have included this in the post I made dedicated to my mother… But I messed up. NO BIGGIE. Here’s Mr. T Singing “Treat your mother right”.
FAVORITE PART: YO MAMA JOKES.
God, I wish I was famous, just so I could do and create whatever I wanted and it would still be sort of legit. LOVE you Mr. T! LOVE YOU MAMA!
Ever been to a bar and you’re pretty sure that your only chance at a free drink is that overweight guy with the cold sore and that weird hairy mole, and you realize that you’d rather shell out the cash for a peaceful night than risk him tell that story bout his hernias four times in a row as he spits cold sore drool on your face?
Sorry… got carried away. ANYWAY.. If you’ve ever wished for your friends to be able to share an experience of food and drinks with you even when they are halfway across the world, if you’ve ever wanted to send a special shot to a friend celebrating a birthday while you are stuck inside with the flu, if you’ve ever wanted to cash in all those internet stalkers you’ve been hoarding, well then… I’ve got an app for you… SLINGR.
Slingr – The self proclaimed social networking tool for drinkers, allows your facebook and twitter friends to remotely send you drinks when you are at bars and clubs hooked up with the service.
According to the service:
When you check in to a Slingr spot, a link is shared to your social feed (e.g. Facebook wall) which takes your friends to a menu system tied directly to your table. From there they can send you drinks, food, and other stuff which is delivered to you by the serving staff.
Would you guys buy me drinks??? I need to have this blog profit me in some way…. JUST KIDDING. I love you all, even if you don’t buy me drinks. But, I’ll try it out, see if actually works and report back soon.
Here’s the Facebook page and Website for those of you who would like to look into it more as it grows in popularity.
Predicted as one of the biggest traffic nightmares that Americans ever had to face, Carmageddon was the shutting down of the 405 freeway in a key area of Los Angeles, between the Valley and the West Side. It was suppose to cause ten hour commutes, insane amounts of road rage and, of course, anarchy.
WELL, I SURVIVED IT… and to be honest it was a little bit anti-climatic. Most people chose not to travel that day and to instead just stay home. I used my “off-time” to watch an entire season of Breaking Bad. It was glorious.
Well, two of my favorite news sources, the local news and The Daily Mail, are now reporting that Carmageddon had some unintended consequences… More Babies! 9 months later there has been a mini-baby boom in Los Angeles. This has been reported solely through anecdotal evidence.
A couple, Natasha and Brian Mills have even come forward saying that there baby was conceived during this time. Brian Mills said: ‘We just holed up in the house, kind of sat by the fire and hung out with each other. ‘Natasha Mills added: ‘And the rest, I don’t have to say.’
Whether true or not, there’s nothing more romantic than conceiving your baby during a state of extreme traffic backup where one becomes so frustrated they feel the world is collapsing around them.
For the Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23 Funniest Roommates Contest I made a video “MY INSANE ROOMMATE” - which you should all vote on (I have 24 hours of self promotion left, so I might as well roll with it). Aside: you can vote once a day, so vote again HERE (using google/youtube account)
So in the spirit of terrible roommates, I give you my terrible roommates stories. Please share yours in the comments.
1. The College Seniors who would throw keggers on Friday mornings at 8 am. The girls would NEVER warn me. Then they would black out by noon, lose their jewelry/phones/clothes and then accuse me of stealing it.
2. The SAME girls as in Number 1 who would knock on my door at 11pm, saying that my phone rang too loud and it disturbed them.
3. I lived in a hippy co-op for two years (don’t ask). We lived with a nudist, who used the van outside as his bedroom, which was totally fine (I ain’t picky). but then the nudist couch surfers arrived. I punched one when his junk got a little too close to my face.
4. The roommate who was “on a diet” and worst of all, the Atkin’s Diet. She would fry up FOUR SAUSAGES and shove them in her mouth with her pudgy hands. THEN she’d smoke some weed and order the 5-5-5 deal (Remember that?) from Domino’s. She would eat all of them to herself. She wouldn’t share any pizza and then would eat the entire 3 pizzas over the course of 24 hours. In the meantime, the boxes would be placed around her on her bed. I still can never look at pizza in the same way again
5. HIPPIES.
6. The girls I dub “The Trolls”. Two LARGE sisters who sometimes had maggots growing on their dishes. When I forgot to do my dishes on my birthday, they had a house meeting to discuss how inconsiderate I am.
7. A roommate who after complaining for weeks about how she needs to do laundry, appropriates my underwear. I found this out when I spotted it when she was wearing a mini skirt. A girl’s gotta learn how to cross her legs.
8. The Generic Drunk Person: Peed in my closet, forgot that he ate all my corn dogs blacked out, threw up in the shower, threw up in the kitchen sink, threw up in the freezer, hosted a party in my bedroom, etc…
9. The roommate who threw the toaster against the wall when she found she was getting evicted.
This weekend, in a span of 48 hours, I wrote, cast and directed my first movie – MY INSANE ROOMMATE. I worked with a great team and we finished!! Here it is:
My favorite Easter memory: When I was much younger, my family dabbled in a Unitarian Universalist Church. I had a lot of fun there, but was completely unaware of the politicking that was going on with the older people (side note: I swear I once saw a ghost there that looked like a Confederate Soldier on a horse).
ANYWAY, some grown-ups didn’t want to celebrate Easter and didn’t want an Easter egg hunt/Easter bunny because of the Christian roots. My dad called BULL SHIT - “kids deserve an Easter Bunny, they deserve an Egg Hunt… It’s frickin’ America, we’ve got rights” (side note: that may or may not be a quote from my father).
So during the sermon, my dad wore an Easter Bunny suit and pranced behind the Minister outside and was seen by the ENTIRE CONGREGATION through the large windows. Later, we had an Easter egg hunt and no one could stop it. My DAD saved Easter. The American Way.
As an ode to children and easter and bunny suits and my dad, here are images of children frightened by the Easter Bunny (also, when did it become a tradition to pose on the Easter Bunny like he’s Santa):
