Tag Archives: hair

Disney’s Beard Policy isn’t as Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah as it seems

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I reported last week about Disney’s new policy that allows staff members to sport beards in an awkwardly titled post that mentions beard lube.  Well yesterday, I went to Disneyland  with my family (and took my 4 year old cousin for the first time!!!) and I was so excited that I was finally going to see all these epic beards.

NOT ONE Staff Member had a beard. After looking all over the place, My brother finally asked someone.  We found out that to be allowed to have a beard you need to take a week off of work and get permission in advance.  No Scruff allowed, I guess.   Aw, Disney, way to discriminate against my favorite facial hair through a loophole (beards are people too)

As a side note,  have you ever seen anyone between the age of 15-25 in Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters WITHOUT that intense look of wanting to space blast the opponent?

Beard Lube and Beard News!

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I love going through my parents’ house, so many odd treasures.  Today I found this:

A sample of Jack Black’s Beard Lube in a bookshelf in my mom’s office.  It’s a ”revolutionary three-in-one pre-shave oil, shave cream and skin conditioner,” but all that aside, they’ve definitely taken the market of uniquely named shaving products.  Sounds like  some dirty pirate’s sex juice (is sex juice a thing? not sure. but yes).

In vaguely related beard news, Disney has officially changed its very strict dress code to allow employees to grow beards.  Soul Patches are still banned though, but for good reason.

this reason…

(And if you were ever wondering some other names for Soul patch, here ya go: God’s asterisk, jazz dab, flavor saver, mouche, mosca, cookie duster, face fungus,attilio, liptee, Imperial, kionjamchuzi, small beard, royale, zif, ball tickler, Cadillac, spit catcher, taint brush, soup catcher, flavor stripe, spit, sauce, womb broom.)

My parents failed attempt at being hip – Corn Cobs

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Let me preface this by saying… I am a redhead.  Not like an auburn red, more orange-y red.  The significance of this will soon be clear.

A few days ago, my mom was combing out my hair (and bam, I just lost all my cred points).  My hair can become a evil rat’s nest within a few hours if I don’t keep up with the maintenance.  It’s like a tangerine colored Voldemort resides on the back of my head and likes to just be an asshole and stuff (a la Sorcerer’s Stone).

SECOND TIME I’VE USED THIS IMAGE THIS WEEK

Well my dad observed this scene unfolding, and he had a special insight.  Our conversation went like this.

Dad:  Look at your hair!  You should get some corn cobs! Continue reading →