Tag Archives: fashion

Disney’s Beard Policy isn’t as Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah as it seems

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I reported last week about Disney’s new policy that allows staff members to sport beards in an awkwardly titled post that mentions beard lube.  Well yesterday, I went to Disneyland  with my family (and took my 4 year old cousin for the first time!!!) and I was so excited that I was finally going to see all these epic beards.

NOT ONE Staff Member had a beard. After looking all over the place, My brother finally asked someone.  We found out that to be allowed to have a beard you need to take a week off of work and get permission in advance.  No Scruff allowed, I guess.   Aw, Disney, way to discriminate against my favorite facial hair through a loophole (beards are people too)

As a side note,  have you ever seen anyone between the age of 15-25 in Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters WITHOUT that intense look of wanting to space blast the opponent?

Beard Lube and Beard News!

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I love going through my parents’ house, so many odd treasures.  Today I found this:

A sample of Jack Black’s Beard Lube in a bookshelf in my mom’s office.  It’s a ”revolutionary three-in-one pre-shave oil, shave cream and skin conditioner,” but all that aside, they’ve definitely taken the market of uniquely named shaving products.  Sounds like  some dirty pirate’s sex juice (is sex juice a thing? not sure. but yes).

In vaguely related beard news, Disney has officially changed its very strict dress code to allow employees to grow beards.  Soul Patches are still banned though, but for good reason.

this reason…

(And if you were ever wondering some other names for Soul patch, here ya go: God’s asterisk, jazz dab, flavor saver, mouche, mosca, cookie duster, face fungus,attilio, liptee, Imperial, kionjamchuzi, small beard, royale, zif, ball tickler, Cadillac, spit catcher, taint brush, soup catcher, flavor stripe, spit, sauce, womb broom.)

BOTOX PARTY!

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I found this little gem on the streets of Los Angeles.  BOTOX PARTY!  It’s like a real party but with needles, pain and low self-esteem. WAIT. that kinda sounds like a heroin/crack den. Even snacks and beverages are provided because nothing washes down dissatisfaction with yourself like a cookie and some fruit punch.

 

The new (and more horrifying) snuggie: Footed Pajamas

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I’m a proud owner of a snuggie. A leopard print snuggie in fact.  But footed pajamas…  There’s something that rubs me the wrong way about them.  It’s the thing that repressed memories, awkward Christmas gifts from Gran Gran and Adult Baby Syndrome are made of.
TOTALLY NORMAL SATURDAY NIGHT
Through my research I found that Jumpin Jammerz (CuTe MiSsPeLinGs and all) are at the forefront of the footed pajama craze.  In fact, Ryan Gosling and Ellen (along with the entire audience) wore them on her show.
Not Gimmicky at All

My favorite aspect of the footed pajama “craze” is that the marketing team decided that it would focus i’s attention on the 18-25 market. Snuggies, they know their place.  It’s for older, lazy people.  Or just straight up lazy people. Continue reading →

My parents failed attempt at being hip – Corn Cobs

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Let me preface this by saying… I am a redhead.  Not like an auburn red, more orange-y red.  The significance of this will soon be clear.

A few days ago, my mom was combing out my hair (and bam, I just lost all my cred points).  My hair can become a evil rat’s nest within a few hours if I don’t keep up with the maintenance.  It’s like a tangerine colored Voldemort resides on the back of my head and likes to just be an asshole and stuff (a la Sorcerer’s Stone).

SECOND TIME I’VE USED THIS IMAGE THIS WEEK

Well my dad observed this scene unfolding, and he had a special insight.  Our conversation went like this.

Dad:  Look at your hair!  You should get some corn cobs! Continue reading →

Fatbooth-ing Victoria’s Secret models is now Journalism

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I’ve been looking for a good news website for a while.  There’s some that I glance at from time to time, but none of them have really stuck.  Except one.  I really should be embarrassed to admit this, but I love the British Tabloid The Daily Mail.

Today, I learned of the woman who had sex with her underage nephew at Thanksgiving, The French government hating on the name Daemon for being too supernatural, and the real house based on the one in the Disney Movie Up! 

Journalism

But yesterday, they had an article so stupid that it seemed like 13 year teen boys had developed the concept.

Victoria’s Secret Models Fatboothed (read it here)

This

For those of you who still haven’t figured out what Fatbooth is, it is an application where you can make someone look really fat.  It’s funny and you can do it on your friends.  It’s taken a while for me to perfect “my FatBooth face”: a slightly agape mouth, an awkward smile and wide, clueless eyes.  It looks horrendous every time (and no I won’t be posting it).

Here’s one more and you can see the rest of the pictures in the article.

I found out today that the Daily Mail was Britain’s first daily newspaper aimed at the newly literate “lower-middle class market resulting from mass education combining a low retail price with plenty of competitions, prizes and promotional gimmicks”, and the first British paper to sell a million copies a day.  At least they knew their market.

Tomorrow: I fatbooth puppies and ask for a journalism prize.

Toy Story Fashion Collection – I’ve always wanted a three eyed alien sweater!

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So, I know that my following statement may make some film buffs a little angry, but I stand by it.  I think that Toy Story 1 was plot-wise a perfect movie.  No questions are left unanswered!  All characters respond to situations based on their own personalities and flaws in a way that is logical, driven and interesting.  It has a pair of protagonists (Woody and Buzz) that serve as antagonists for one another and their interactions motivate their actions that build up to a climax!!!!!!  Film Major ramblings aside, the movie is so gosh darn cute and I went to the 3D double feature by myself at like 11 am on a Tuesday (granted I fell asleep, but watching movies before noon is really hard for me).

So I have a minor obsession with Toy Story, and for someone who generally hates on Disney movies, It’s kind of a big deal (I never hate on Disney music though because that stuff is awesome).

So back to the original point of my story!  The Japanese have done it again and released a very cute Toy Story collection.  Hong-Kong based Bossini has collaborated with Pixar to create a range inspired by the feature film.

Would you wear it?

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