Tag Archives: beards

Disney’s Beard Policy isn’t as Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah as it seems

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I reported last week about Disney’s new policy that allows staff members to sport beards in an awkwardly titled post that mentions beard lube.  Well yesterday, I went to Disneyland  with my family (and took my 4 year old cousin for the first time!!!) and I was so excited that I was finally going to see all these epic beards.

NOT ONE Staff Member had a beard. After looking all over the place, My brother finally asked someone.  We found out that to be allowed to have a beard you need to take a week off of work and get permission in advance.  No Scruff allowed, I guess.   Aw, Disney, way to discriminate against my favorite facial hair through a loophole (beards are people too)

As a side note,  have you ever seen anyone between the age of 15-25 in Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters WITHOUT that intense look of wanting to space blast the opponent?

Beard Lube and Beard News!

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I love going through my parents’ house, so many odd treasures.  Today I found this:

A sample of Jack Black’s Beard Lube in a bookshelf in my mom’s office.  It’s a ”revolutionary three-in-one pre-shave oil, shave cream and skin conditioner,” but all that aside, they’ve definitely taken the market of uniquely named shaving products.  Sounds like  some dirty pirate’s sex juice (is sex juice a thing? not sure. but yes).

In vaguely related beard news, Disney has officially changed its very strict dress code to allow employees to grow beards.  Soul Patches are still banned though, but for good reason.

this reason…

(And if you were ever wondering some other names for Soul patch, here ya go: God’s asterisk, jazz dab, flavor saver, mouche, mosca, cookie duster, face fungus,attilio, liptee, Imperial, kionjamchuzi, small beard, royale, zif, ball tickler, Cadillac, spit catcher, taint brush, soup catcher, flavor stripe, spit, sauce, womb broom.)

Whisker Wars – May the best beard win

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Reality Television – you tell everyone you hate it, but secretly, you have all the seasons of Jersey Show on DVD, you TIVO the Bachelorette and you watch Parking Wars on Netflix (aside: when is TIVO going to be in the scrabble dictionary, it’s already a pseudo verb)

My reality TV habits are usually limited to things like watching a full day marathon of  Millionaire Matchmaker when i’m *cough cough* sick or staring in horror when a Gordon Ramsey show pops up, but it’s rare that I need to watch a reality show every week.

This has all changed with Whisker Wars.  It’s on Fridays at 11 p.m.  Yes, it’s mindless.  Yes, it’ contributing to the lowering standards of television.  BUT, it’s awesome. and awesome trumps everything else any day.